(750 words) “Look Mr Sissons, I’m sorry, that part of the graveyard’s no longer used, on account of subsidence caused by badgers. Please see Fred, the sexton. He’ll show you where new graves can be dug and sort out the availability, bearing in mind the … ah … timeframe.” The Reverend Samuel Everson got up from the pew, feeling a certain trepidation and hoping the matter was now closed. Edgar Sissons was a big man and leader of the local council. He wore a long black coat of thick woollen material and barred the reverend’s way. “Look, Reverend, my Auntie Nellie’s buried in that far corner, as you know. It’s my desire that my sister Dolly be buried next to her, God rest her soul.” Samuel Everson felt his hands growing sweaty. “Look, Mr. Sissons, we all have the greatest respect for Dolly, but when all’s said and done, she wasn’t a regular churchgoer here, and as I say –” “Listen, Reverend, it’s my wish that Dolly be buried next to her kith and kin and from where I’m standing I see no good reason she can’t be.
Sandra Malone sat staring at her laptop. On the left side, a heart with a ribbon around it and the words, ‘To My Valentine.’ On the right, a blank page anticipating her inspired verse. She sighed. She’d needed the work and, as a poet – of sorts, had been recommended to Gibson’s Cards to crank out twenty Valentine verses and messages. After a morning’s work, trying to think of original lines using ‘Valentine,’ ‘please be mine,’ ‘heart,’ ‘never part’ and such, she was sorely tempted to rhyme ‘heart’ with ‘fart.’ That’d make Gibson’s sit up!
Debonair, that was how Susan, my friend from Pilates, had always described my husband, Peter – before his accident. Now his blue eyes, roman nose, square chin and neatly cut jet-black hair – dyed, of course – stared back from the life-size photograph propped on the windowsill by the television. How I longed to smash it.
“Walnut looks good – feast your eyes on this!” Tabby held up a brochure of baby grand pianos. All gloss and gorgeous swirling grain.
“Very nice, but you’re forgetting three things.”
“One, we live in a tiny flat, two, you can’t play the piano, and, three, we don’t have any money!”
Tabby’s smile faded. “Well, I’m now creating my own reality through the Law of Attraction.”
“So you keep saying. I don’t see any changes.”
“The universe takes time to give you the things you ask for. They’ll come when they’re ready to come.”
Credited, usually, with the patience of a saint, I was nevertheless tested at times.
“I’m looking for a book.”
I looked up from my desk at the back of the shop, where I was cataloguing a copy of Pepys’s diary, bound in worn morocco leather that had no doubt, decades earlier, been an impressive maroon. The man was tall, ascetic, with a boyish face. His black hair was neatly parted and his nose was thin and pronounced. Ominously, he sported a dog-collar.
“Ah, yes, what’s it called.”
“Oh, that I’m not sure about. It’s quite a long title.”
“Well, who’s it by? I can look it up for you.”
“Ah, hmm, the name escapes me right now.” He gazed around the shelves intently, as if it were his first venture into a second-hand bookshop.
I felt the first bubblings of annoyance. “Well, look, what’s it about. Is it fiction or non-fiction?”
Saunders – no one seemed to know his Christian name, or even if he had one – lived in our village, and was reasonably infamous. They said that when sober he was intelligent, well spoken, and witty. He came from a very wealthy family, a household name indeed. When drunk, however, he didn’t wash or shave, was without principles of any kind and would shout vile insults at innocent passersby, whether he knew them or not.
Unfortunately, he was nearly always drunk.
Well, I’d heard stories about him –
(750 words) “Hello, Darling, did you have a good morning?” “It’s half past twelve.” “Yes, I know it is. Is that a problem?” “I’m due at the dentists at two and I asked you to be back by twelve. I wanted to pop round to my mother’s first.” “For God’s sake. It’s only a twenty-minute drive to your mother's and twenty minutes to the dentist. You can still spend an hour gassing.” “No I can’t. She’s got to go out at one. That’s why I asked you to be back at twelve. Don’t you ever listen?” “Sorry, are you sure you told me?” “Of course I’m sure! Now I’ll have to go afterwards, so I’ll be pushed to pick the kids up.” “I can pick the kids up.” “No, I want to make sure they get home in one piece.”
(750 words) Profundity of expression wasn’t Brad’s strong point. “I don’t care if you don’t fucking believe me. Eric Clapton’s my mate and if I asked him to come and play here he’d fucking come and play here!” Fred, the landlord of The Black Swan, coughed diplomatically. “Well I expect he’s a busy man.” Brad … Continue reading EC was Here