Chivvers’ Foibles

“Vulgarity is the poor man’s religion!” said Sheldrake, battling against the loud chatter and raucous laughter of the Crown and Anchor’s early evening trade.
“Who said that?”
“Oscar Wilde.”
“No he didn’t!”
Sheldrake banged the table. “Well he should’ve done!”
The round, jean-clad behind of Sue from accounts rubbed against my arm as she stood chatting to colleagues.
Sheldrake gripped my wrist. “Look, I’ve discovered something. Somethin’ about ol’ Chivvers!”
Shh!” I didn’t want Sheldrake spouting baseless rumours again, especially about my boss.
“Look, he’s had visitors, two men from Serious Fraud.”
“They use the service lift and they don’t leave his office.”
Hmm, Chivvers had seemed preoccupied recently! “How d’you know?”
Sheldrake tapped his bulbous nose.
Minutes later Sheldrake nodded frantically. “That’s, that’s them!”
Two men in black coats approached through the throng. They gave Sue some cards before heading to the bar.
“Here, Tony, Sheldrake, you might be interested? You never know!” She gave us one each, laughing.
I read – Have Fun at Work! Unicycle and Circus Skills! I practically choked on my Old Backstabber, imagining old man Chivvers riding round his office on a unicycle!
Sheldrake looked sheepish. He and the truth made poor bedfellows!

Featured in the book, To Cut a Short Story Short: 111 Little Stories

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