Hating the idea, I am nevertheless obliged to cooperate with Mellors’ latest ‘prank,’ another outrageous practical joke for his YouTube channel.
I hide behind a tree with my video camera focused on him. He sits, smirking, on a camping stool at the side of a path. In front of him lies Frank, specially selected on account of his prosthetic leg. All is quiet in the park, but we know that someone will be along soon. Dusk is falling but the scene is bright in the viewfinder.
The sound of voices. Get ready!
Two young women come along the path, chatting, oblivious of Mellors and Frank.
“I only have two days to get this wretched writing assignment done. I can’t come tonight, sorry!”
“OK hun, martyrdom doesn’t suit you though!”
As the girls draw parallel, Mellors slashes a meat cleaver into Frank’s fake leg. He screams and red paint splurges into the air.
The girls stop and stare, speechless with shock. Mellors gets up and approaches them, waving the cleaver. They scream and run and we all stand laughing uproariously.
I now notice Frank is still lying down, convulsing.
I shout, “Oi Mellors, you fucking idiot, that was the wrong leg!”
Featured in the book, To Cut a Short Story Short: 111 Little Stories
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