The Legend of the Sprogge

TASWG assignment: write a nonsense poem in the style of ‘Jabberwocky’.

Through Lincs’ fair wolds, did roam at large
the evil Sprogge, oh loathsome beast!
Half plant, half man, half monstrous thing
on teeny tods did feast.
.
Past Tetford Church the Sprogge did lurch,
its eyes did mulder and burn.
It munched upon a teeny tod
then tavern-wards did journ.
.
The Sprogge through White Hart Inn did stramp,
snipper-snapping as it came.
Oh gleamish girls, oh loamish lads
to slay wouldst bring ye fame!
.
The patrons ran at such a sight
Dave O’ Ireland stayed in vain.
His droibles lost to girthy fangs,
cursed loudly in great pain!
.
So hunters plotted, plotters hunted,
‘til cornered was the Sprogge.
Nets aready, baits abated,
through churchyard shrouthed in fog.
.
But did resist, the noxious thing!
Did gripe and gleep around.
Until brave lads did rostle it down,
strumbling it to the ground.
.
Oh evil Sprogge thou shalt not live!
Thou hast a heart of stone
On kildren art thou wont to feast
Mercy, we’ll show thee none!
.
The Sprogge did plead, the Sprogge did cry,
the Sprogge let out a fart.
Irons hot from Smithblack’s fire
were plunged through brain and heart.
.
Oh sproadless Sprogge
thou art no more, and men can make their way
through Salmonby, Belchford and the like
where tods once more may play!
.